Many of those of us walking through life want to do so with the love of our lives. Whether we refer to them as our special someone or our soul mate, we want to crave their attention and picture the rest of our lives with this other human. While love is not necessarily a fairy tale, it is always possible to find someone who you can walk through the trials of life with and who will help you to make positive memories. However, you will need to set the foundation so that you are able to attract this type of person into your life. This may require you to switch up your mindset, evaluate your values, and make sacrifices.
Stop Idealizing The Perfect Person
Movies and television shows often depict cute characters that fall in love and nothing bad every happens to them. They don’t fight. They don’t have a disagreement. They are fairy-tale couples. Unfortunately, that is not how real life works. But, this portrayal of these characters does affect our real life judgement. Idealizing the perfect person for you in your head can be both motivating and damaging all at once. It is important to have expectations and standards, but keep in mind that some things can become unrealistic. Every single person you meet will have multiple flaws. You may meet someone who you feel is perfect in every sense of the word, but then they are met with trials and tribulations that test them and they may react poorly. You may flee when they do not match up to your idealistic expectations. But, in reality, there is nobody who is going to be perfect. Instead, focus on communication and working on things that you know you are doing that negatively affect the relationship. Looking into your own flaws can help you to become a more empathetic person and help you to make the relationship stronger.
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Slow Down
Often, when we meet someone new for the first time we can become antsy to see them again. We may push certain milestones, such as the first kiss or moving in, because we feel that that is what we are supposed to do. Relationships are not a race, so don’t treat them like one. Rushing things and manipulating partners to feel a certain way will not build a healthy foundation for a long lasting relationship. It will end up doing more harm than good and could lead to you being unhappy in your relationship. Instead, try not to force milestones and understand that each relationship you develop will be unique. Some feelings may take longer to develop than others.
Be Genuine
It is important when you are looking to find real love that you present the most honest version of yourself. Sometimes, individuals may change their behavior in order to please those around them. They may do certain things or say certain things only because they know that is what the other person will like. Instead, go into situations putting an emphasis on your authentic self. You do not want to be pretending for your whole life. This may require you to really sit with yourself and get to know what you like, as well as how you are. For instance, what do you like to do for fun? For some people, living authentically can take practice.
Know Your Boundaries
It is important to know your worth and to know your boundaries. Setting healthy boundaries will help you to keep healthy relationships. Everyone has expectations and standards when it comes to relationships. You should uphold these to help ensure that your partner values and respects you. While finding a special someone will be a nice addition to your life, you do not need anyone to be part of your life. This is because you, alone, are enough and worth everything in the world. Staying true to your boundaries will help you to stay confident in yourself and your decisions that you make.
Stay Confident in Yourself
You are making good decisions. You are being a good person. You will attract the love of your life. These are things that you should be telling yourself. While this can help to boost confidence, it will help if you actually mean them. Confidence has a way of radiating from people and can lead to others being attracted by how you are treating yourself. This energy will lead to someone finding you who respects you and appreciates you.
While finding the love of your life sounds like a daunting process, it does not have to be challenging. The first step begins with you. Finding out who you truly are and staying authentic can help attract the right people to you. Remaining confident in yourself, as well as knowing your worth, can help you to build long and healthy relationships.